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Post by Stacy on Nov 30, 2010 13:33:39 GMT -5
If you read some other posts on the blog - her mother was toxic and emotionally abusive and did things like kidnap her from her father and abandoned her when she was 11.
At work - will reply more later.
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Post by thelunarfox on Nov 30, 2010 13:37:48 GMT -5
If you read some other posts on the blog - her mother was toxic and emotionally abusive and did things like kidnap her from her father and abandoned her when she was 11. At work - will reply more later. Well that makes a huge difference then. That's a whole set up of horrible things that goes outside of the realm of just knocking down her childhood dream. Laura, honestly, I think you'll be okay. There's doing what you think is best for a child, and then there's filling your child with negative energy. No parent is perfect, but there are some parents that are honestly just mean/negative and those are the ones who really mess up their children.
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Post by sb on Nov 30, 2010 13:59:01 GMT -5
oh god yes Stacy, that makes a huge difference. That's child abuse. That's torture.
I'm sorry.
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Post by mdpthatsme on Nov 30, 2010 16:33:57 GMT -5
How did you develop confidence in your writing? If the first sentence doesn't flow smoothly the first time you write it, most likely you're not going to like the rest. I go by that rule myself. If something starts out just bleek, I'm not likely to continue. However having a concrete first line usually does it for me, I can continue and have a nice day. Are you confident in what you put out there for everyone to read? Never. Well, except something comical because I'm usually really good at making people smile or as of lately with Kiri making them lmao in Alternate Universe. Do you second guess? Always. Do you fake it till you make it?Well...I can't really say. I have great pride in my work. Sure I'm nervous, but mostly I'm excited. I don't doubt that my work or art will mean something to someone else because it means something to me and if it can hit me like a ton of bricks then it's likely to do the same to someone else. Great questions though. They really make you look deep inside of yourself for the answers.
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Post by mmmcheezy225 on Dec 2, 2010 22:02:14 GMT -5
I don't have a shred of confidence in anything I write--or anything I do, really. It's Private School Kid Syndrome; unless you're one of those lucky individuals who are just born with an impenetrable spirit and who receive the type and amount of nurturing needed to maintain it, you can't go through nine years at a private school without being pushed to either extreme of the confidence scale. This. Coming from a previous Private School Kid, self-doubt is seemingly unavoidable. I'm sure the same can be said for non-private school kids, also. With that said, I almost always fake it 'till I make it (or until someone comments, whichever comes first). On the rare occasion that I feel I have typed up brilliance, I confidently click the "post" button, re-read the blog post, and cringe. All that confidence destroyed in less than ten minutes.
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Post by Stacy on Dec 4, 2010 0:56:06 GMT -5
SB and Lunar - It's cool. Your reactions were completely reasonable and brought up good points. Made me think about perceptions and how people communicate and messages get misinterpreted and stuff.
Like when people talk about how Sims stories and stories published online for free are not important and won't win any awards and you shouldn't put a lot of effort into them or think of them as art, I get all itchy and angry and offended and think of it as a personal insult, as them tearing me down and invalidating me and saying that I am wrong. But really - really they probably just have a more mainstream conforming capitalist worldview and that's really how they see the world and they aren't consciously thinking of half the motives I impute to them.
Speaking of things like that...
So I've been reading about narcissism, as I often do. Because I worry, a lot, that I am a narcissist. John says that I do have a little narcissism, but it's okay because I'm an artist. LOL.
Where is the line between confidence and narcissism? At what point do healthy narcissistic traits become pathological?
How much confidence is too much?
One thing that shows up in some of the stuff I'm reading - the reflection never changes. Narcissism is static. It's not so much wanting to be the best and striving towards that and constantly improving. It seems to be more...thinking that you are already the best, without putting forth effort.
I definitely see myself in a lot of the traits, but like John says - I think it's just a bit. Maybe a bit more towards the pathological side of the spectrum than most people, but still on the side of functional and healthy.
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Post by thelunarfox on Dec 4, 2010 1:08:40 GMT -5
It makes sense-- both that you might be a little narcissistic and that true narcissism never changes. I think we all need to be a little bit narcissistic. I mean, I know I'm a tiny bit into myself. I do find myself fascinating sometimes, lol. I spent a lot of time even writing about myself and studying myself, and after that, now I'm back and ready to write more. I think it's helped.
But real narcissim-- I think we've all run across those people who think they're the best. That's when you have some serious issues!
That why I think sometimes it's actually a good thing to have those low points where you might think you suck and be a little narcissistic because then you're always trying to impress yourself, lol.
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Post by celebkiriedhel on Dec 4, 2010 2:25:49 GMT -5
As you may already be aware - I collect writing quotes. Funny you should mention Narcissism - this one is one that I copied out onto a piece of card and stick it up on my desk: "Every author, however modest, keeps a most outrageous vanity chained like a madman in the padded cell of his breast." - Logan Pearsall Smith. So Narcissism? Of course! Is it ever a problem? Nah - I think our recurrent low self-esteem issues balance it quite nicely!
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Post by sb on Dec 4, 2010 8:54:22 GMT -5
Kiri, I adore that quote!! Stacy: I've known only one person I would call a true narcissist. He was so different, so completely absorbed with himself, that you knew something was wrong with the guy after spending a little time in his company. And I have known someone with CONFIDENCE so immense it was self destructive (beguiling and fascinating though). The fear meter didn't work. The narcissist wasn't that confident and the confident person was empathetic, not a narcissist. I don't think the two are the same. And Stacy, I do not see you as a narcissist. You care about other people, and that disqualifies you.
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dinuriel
Full Member
Torturing characters? Me? Nooo...
Posts: 374
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Post by dinuriel on Dec 4, 2010 14:32:07 GMT -5
Aww, Stacy, you're not a narcissist--like Beth said, you care about other people too much to be a narcissist The only narcissist I ever knew used to live next door to my parents and provided partial inspiration for one of my minor Naroni characters (Ailede). She was this crazy sixty-some lady who used to yell at the neighborhood kids for no real reason other than the fact that they were taking up her precious oxygen (when kids were walking on our side of the street, they would cross and then cross back in order to avoid walking in front of her house, and she once threatened to call the cops when my brother and his friend accidentally threw a ball onto her yard). She had a decent-yet-spineless husband who you could just tell was totally sick of her, but she had him wrapped around her little finger and doing all her bidding at the drop of a hat. She was also obsessed with having the nicest garden in the neighborhood and loathed my mom because she perceived her as the main competition. She used glare at people walking up to our door and she'd sabotage my mom's garden on occasion. The only family around that liked her were the people on the other side of her house, and only because she sucked up to them so the man would do yard work for her. I'm pretty sure she would have driven my parents to move away if she herself hadn't moved first, and I can't help but wonder how her current neighbors are coping. So, with that archetype of narcissism (and probably some other sort of -ism too) in mind, no, you're definitely not a narcissist.
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