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Post by Stacy on Nov 1, 2010 21:17:47 GMT -5
This is in IRL instead of writing 'cause I ain't doing no NaNoWriMo. Not my style - I write slow and edit a lot and publish my work to get feedback every 1000-1500 words and that's just the way I roll. But well - I'm sure some of you remember what happened last year at this time and how I was a crying depressed mess for three days until a friend gave up on NaNoWriMo and came back online. And now everything is all slow and people aren't posting here or on LJ or on Boolprop or even much on Twitter, and last year is kind of on my mind. Doesn't help that said friend is not online and hasn't been for quite some time. And I am terribly terribly lonely and sad. At least I'm not crying this time. Off to watch The Perfect Drug and be emo and sadly plunk my keyboard keys. NaNoWriMo - a reason to broaden your horizons and find friends who aren't writers. Oh, to clarify - I do fully support NaNoWriMo and the people who are doing it and I love you all and I wish you good luck. More than anything else I think it's just remembering last year that's making me sad. Like I'm identifying with the Stacy of 365 days ago too much. If anyone wants to get on AIM and talk, my AIM username is medlemisty. Also if anyone has any tips for dealing with abandonment issues and codependency, feel free to share.
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Post by celebkiriedhel on Nov 1, 2010 21:33:55 GMT -5
I'm finding I'm spending more time on the forums and posting - as a creative avoidance to my nanowrimo! Annual anniversaries can be so hard. I remember it took me 5 years to stop feeling guilty for watching TV in November. (Uni had exams in Nov).
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Post by Stacy on Nov 1, 2010 21:41:30 GMT -5
I'm finding I'm spending more time on the forums and posting - as a creative avoidance to my nanowrimo! Annual anniversaries can be so hard. I remember it took me 5 years to stop feeling guilty for watching TV in November. (Uni had exams in Nov). LOL! Oh wow, you guys had exams in November? I think our midterms are in October? I don't know - it's been a really long time. Yay I feel better now! *hugs* But yeah - last year the first three days of November were rough. On the plus side, after the dust cleared I realized what my issue was - when close friends who I'm used to talking to every day suddenly disappear on me, somewhere deep deep in my subconscious it triggers issues from my father suddenly dying when I was in first grade.
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Post by celebkiriedhel on Nov 1, 2010 21:47:13 GMT -5
That is going to suck really badly then. Abandonment issues triggering are really horrible. Yeah November is the month - and they're our final exams, so we don't do well in them, Christmas is stuffed. I used to have to study over Christmas every year. It sucked so hard. But it's been 23 years since I finished Uni, so now it's just a faded dream - Thank Will Wright! Do you do something to honor yourself during this time? Treat yourself to something? (Me - any excuse to eat chocolate. ) It won't stop the triggering, but at least it'll give you something to enjoy
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Post by Stacy on Nov 1, 2010 22:27:33 GMT -5
That is going to suck really badly then. Abandonment issues triggering are really horrible. Yeah November is the month - and they're our final exams, so we don't do well in them, Christmas is stuffed. I used to have to study over Christmas every year. It sucked so hard. But it's been 23 years since I finished Uni, so now it's just a faded dream - Thank Will Wright! Do you do something to honor yourself during this time? Treat yourself to something? (Me - any excuse to eat chocolate. ) It won't stop the triggering, but at least it'll give you something to enjoy Ouch - I can imagine that it would suck having a bad exam hanging over your Christmas! I think it's been a bit over 8 years since I graduated from a two year college, so it's pretty faded for me too. Plus I was working nearly full time in fast food at the time, so I try to not remember it. I kicked a hole in the drive-thru wall once. No one got mad - they just told me to go kick the boxes of beef in the freezer instead. And yeah - I've got a few tabs open reading about abandonment issues and early parent death, just like I did last year. You know how I figured it out? On the third day, I had the worst John cheating on me dream I'd had in a while. So I googled the meaning of dreaming about your spouse cheating on you. Turns out that's a pretty common dream for people who lost parents in early childhood, because of the abandonment issues. Knowing what was up really helped, though. I've been listening to the Valley Seth playlist tonight. Does that count as treating myself? I can reframe it that way! I have to be all emo for a bit to get back into 10space, back into Seth's head. See - everything is useful. Being extremely open and extremely sensitive does lead to great pain as well as great joy, but the pain can be used for creating art just as much as the joy can.
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Post by celebkiriedhel on Nov 1, 2010 23:22:15 GMT -5
Yeah - knowing what the trigger is can often take the sting out of the event. Yup - listening to a favoured playlist is a treat. I still hold that chocolate and/or junk food is the ultimate treat Getting back into Seth's head - good call! I reckon pain is often more useful for creating art than joy is, not that I go courting pain for the creativity of it.
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Post by thelunarfox on Nov 2, 2010 12:37:18 GMT -5
I agree with the chocolate! Huh, I have no advice I can give. I've always been more of a loner by nature. I don't like chatting, and I don't like talking on the phone, and I don't like attention. What makes me most happy is sitting by myself doing whatever I feel like doing while not talking or listening to someone talk (and probably having some chocolate). It's a hard mode to really get out of. Meanwhile my best friend and my boyfriend are both really all about chatting and hanging out. Jay actually talks to me a lot when I get home because usually he's been stuck home all day by himself. And just this morning my best friend called to chat, and I couldn't help thinking, "What? Again? We just hung out all weekend." I at least had the sense to feel bad about it, though I still got off the line quickly since I was heading out for a walk. Also, wow on those dreams. D: That's horrible, but at least you know the source. Do you still have those dreams?
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Post by rad on Nov 2, 2010 19:10:47 GMT -5
I'm not absent because of NaNo - I just had several huge deadlines and this week am doing the lighting for our current play. Should be around more from next week until early December when I have another deadline - I'm going to have lots of small periods of inactivity this year but they'll always be punctuating more normal, active periods. And on the dreams.
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Post by Stacy on Nov 2, 2010 20:57:18 GMT -5
Aww, you guys. *hugs* Yeah - this afternoon I said "It's hard being an extrovert in an introvert's world" to John. He gave me a strange look, lol. Oh, Lunar - you don't have to get out of your natural mode! That's just how you work. I bet you'd score pretty high on introversion on the Myers-Briggs personality test. Maybe not as high as John though - he doesn't even post anywhere online. And I'm the only person he talks to that he's not related to by blood. I always thought I was an introvert growing up, because I was comparing myself to my mother - she's the most extroverted person on the planet. But then one day I decided to read the ENFP profile. Is this me or what?Dude, check out this other ENFP profile. The ChampionSo I read that and compared it to the INFP profiles and I realized I am an extrovert. Just the type of extrovert that needs the most alone time. I like chatting and I like attention (lol!) but I don't like talking on the phone either. That may be because the three people I talk to on the phone are not good conversationalists. My mother and my half-brother can't hear me and so just generally monologue at me about stuff I don't care about, and John - I generally end up thinking that he's mad and ignoring me and getting all upset and hanging up. Yeah. It was fun times the two and a half years we were long distance. I think I'm most happy when I'm writing and when I share my writing with others and get their feedback - I was all bouncy happy on Halloween with all the wonderful comments on Farmer Brown. Which I am more bouncy happy than sad and emo at the moment because...I got a cardigan!!!! It's not exactly like Seth's but it's the closest I've ever seen available in a store. And you know - that was actually the last cheating John dream I remember. It's like knowing where they came from cleared them up. I'm sure John is happy about that - I used to wake up and wander into the dining room and tell him he needed to have a talk with Dream John, lol. And Rad - aww, you don't have to explain that you have a life! What play is it? And I'll miss you during the breaks but dude, your deadlines are more important.
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Post by simslia on Nov 2, 2010 22:04:39 GMT -5
Dearest Stacy, I haven't been online because my computer crashed while I was up visiting Brian in the hospital and I had no replacement for two weeks. I am so glad to be back, And although I am still doing NaNoWriMo, I'm excited to have you guys around too. Life wouldn't be the same without VSS
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Post by Stacy on Nov 3, 2010 9:20:35 GMT -5
Dearest Stacy, I haven't been online because my computer crashed while I was up visiting Brian in the hospital and I had no replacement for two weeks. I am so glad to be back, And although I am still doing NaNoWriMo, I'm excited to have you guys around too. Life wouldn't be the same without VSS *hugs* How is he doing, btw? And I am glad that you are back! Good luck with NaNo! You can post your progress here if you want - I think we have a thread for it in the creative process forum.
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Post by laura on Nov 3, 2010 9:49:55 GMT -5
For other reasons, I feel a little bit bitter in NaNo month too. I'm kind of jealous of all these NaNo people, digging into their first drafts, discovering new worlds and new characters, letting the words fly, posting up their word counts. First drafting is fun!
Not me though, lol! Both my novel and my current LH stories are already long since first-drafted. I still love them both, deeply, but the new-ness has all worn off. You gotta make a conscious effort to keep finding things you love about it and ways to feel excited about it. It's like keeping a marriage alive, lol!
And oh hey, I didn't know that about the spouse cheating dreams. Those are the worst. My hubby has definitely gotten in trouble some mornings for what his dream-self did the previous night, lol!
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Post by Stacy on Nov 3, 2010 15:42:23 GMT -5
For other reasons, I feel a little bit bitter in NaNo month too. I'm kind of jealous of all these NaNo people, digging into their first drafts, discovering new worlds and new characters, letting the words fly, posting up their word counts. First drafting is fun! Not me though, lol! Both my novel and my current LH stories are already long since first-drafted. I still love them both, deeply, but the new-ness has all worn off. You gotta make a conscious effort to keep finding things you love about it and ways to feel excited about it. It's like keeping a marriage alive, lol! And oh hey, I didn't know that about the spouse cheating dreams. Those are the worst. My hubby has definitely gotten in trouble some mornings for what his dream-self did the previous night, lol! OMG, haha - I guess I don't think of it that way because I edit while I write and I love editing. But then I am apparently genetically inclined towards monogamy. I was talking about that at dinner and found out that my sexual orientation has a label: demisexual. Perhaps that's my writing orientation as well. I will only write a story if I am in love with it, and otherwise the thought is kind of icky and disgusting.
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pinkfiend1
Full Member
Missing everyone
Posts: 467
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Post by pinkfiend1 on Nov 3, 2010 19:54:13 GMT -5
I'm always here, I just don't know what to say in most of the threads. Well thinking about it I never know what to say to anyone, which is I lose practically everything without meaning to. Plus I start writing responses then for some reason don't press post, or the net cuts out as I post it and I can't be bothered to retype it out.
Turns out according to the dream sites my dreams represent some weird things, I wouldn't have thought of in connection to them. I've had the cheating dreams too, but they have also been in fictional dream relationships, having not had a real one.
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Post by Stacy on Nov 4, 2010 9:28:29 GMT -5
I'm always here, I just don't know what to say in most of the threads. Well thinking about it I never know what to say to anyone, which is I lose practically everything without meaning to. Plus I start writing responses then for some reason don't press post, or the net cuts out as I post it and I can't be bothered to retype it out. Turns out according to the dream sites my dreams represent some weird things, I wouldn't have thought of in connection to them. I've had the cheating dreams too, but they have also been in fictional dream relationships, having not had a real one. *hugs* I'm glad that you're here. And yeah, I lose posts a fair bit too - IE has decided to start crashing a lot lately. Trying to decide if I want to look into Firefox or Chrome. Dream sites are weird. I think I found the bit about abandonment on a psychology site? I don't know. But yeah - most dream sites are like tarot and horoscope sites. I think they can be helpful as an aid for self-introspection, but I don't take them too seriously. *hugs*, again. And if you do think of things to post, I hope you feel comfortable enough to post them.
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Post by dbloveshermac on Nov 5, 2010 11:59:04 GMT -5
Moose alert! Just seeing if anyone is awake here. I have had super vivid dreams, both good and bad, all my life. Almost always in color, sometimes with background music and occasionally even scents (lavender, cinnamon, etc.) have even dreamed I died. Woke up really confused and freaked out. What does it mean if you have an animated dream or a "regular" dream with an animated character in it?
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Post by thelunarfox on Nov 5, 2010 12:09:20 GMT -5
That you are awesome. My best friend has dreams like yours DB. She's very creative and very visual. She's had all sorts of interesting dreams. Plus, she's very sensitive to outside stimuli and so things she may read about make it into her dream all the time. Like she once studied the old Nuclear testing out of Nevada for a project and it freaked her out. She had dreams for a long time about it, and it still makes it into her dreams. She's also dreamed she a super hero complete with costume and cape. I do score very high on introversion with Myers-Briggs tests. Oddly, I also seem to have scored high on interpersonal tests. Well, I admit to being a body full of contradiction from the beginning when I like Spiderman and yet was terrified of spiders.
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Post by dbloveshermac on Nov 5, 2010 13:05:46 GMT -5
Lol Lunar! I don't remember having a nuclear testing dream before, or a cape. I think I might be jealous of the cape. ~making note to look at pictures of capes and watch Batman cartoons before bed sometime~ then again, Edna was very adamantly anti-cape in The Incredibles. ;-)
I used to to be ENFP but became slightly INFP after a significant life event. I suspect that the older I get, the more "I" I become. Do you suppose most artists and writers and musicians are Ns?
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Post by laura on Nov 5, 2010 15:06:41 GMT -5
Dreams are so interesting, aren't they? I always end up having dreams about some of the crazy-ass things my hubby likes to talk about - conspiracy theories, aliens, zombies. He likes to talk about these things right before bed, which doesn't help, lol! Last night I had a dream that our house was being invaded by aliens, little ones - about kid-sized - but dark gray with sharp teeth. And they were coming into our bedroom while we slept, except my hubby (in the dream) slept right through the whole ordeal, and here I was fighting off these little toothy aliens trying to eat us both, and he was like, zzzzzzz....... (Not going to go into the gory way I was fighting these aliens though - man, I was hardcore, I'm telling you!) LOL! How's that for the randomness of my subconscious?! And then all this morning I was pissed at him for not helping me fight the goddamn aliens I'm fascinated by personality profiles. They're just as fascinating as zodiac profiles! I'm a INFJ (borderline INTJ) Virgo, by the way
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dinuriel
Full Member
Torturing characters? Me? Nooo...
Posts: 374
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Post by dinuriel on Nov 5, 2010 16:11:13 GMT -5
Haha, that sounds like a totally awesome dream! A lot of my dreams lately involve someone dying. I'm not sure what that says about my subconscious :S
They made us take the Myers-Briggs test back in grade nine. I got INFP. My scores for I and F were fairly central, but my scores for N and P were extremely polar--actually, I was the only person in the class who scored absolutely nothing in the J category.
I'm a Capricorn, but the description is really a poor match to my personality.
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