|
Post by Stacy on Jan 13, 2010 11:12:45 GMT -5
Random strangers on the internet who know absolutely nothing about me or my life have accused me of enjoying what I choose to do in my free time too much. Oh noes! And then it came up again this morning - someone seemed to be scared to admit to liking their story because they didn't want people to think they were "obsessed" and then someone replied to that and said that some people were too obsessed but that the OP wasn't. I cannot imagine a way to be too obsessed with your current creative project. I asked my husband what he thought, and he said that maybe it might be scary if a writer had to kill someone and drink their heart's blood before they could write but that there was nothing at all scary about sitting in front of a computer and typing. He also said that great art generally comes from people who are "obsessive" and that if it does cause them any mental instability that's their thing and not something for other people to worry themselves about. So anyway - why do people care about how much total strangers are into their hobbies? Do you care, and if so what do you define as too obsessive and how does a stranger being what you define as too obsessive impact your life? Maybe by talking through this we can find out why people care about what religion or sexuality or nationality or skin tone other people are and solve the world's problems!
|
|
|
Post by laura on Jan 13, 2010 13:17:32 GMT -5
He also said that great art generally comes from people who are "obsessive" and that if it does cause them any mental instability that's their thing and not something for other people to worry themselves about. Or, as long as it doesn't cause them any more mental instability than they're already victim to This is a great topic! I agree that artists are generally obsessive types as well. I know I am. You have to have a great passion for these kinds of projects to be able to reach the finish line. Because you know what, there are a damn lot of people who can write, or can create, but they don't care enough about it to slug it through to the end. More and more, I'm becoming convinced that persistence is every bit as important in a writers life as raw talent or skill. You'd better believe I'm obsessed with the characters in my novel. (And well, you all know I'm obsessed with my LH characters, lol!) Sometimes I see them so well fleshed that they're like real living people in my head. I've been through several drafts and versions of my novel, and I just cannot rest until I have their story out on paper. Just like I've slugged through two years of writing for LH, and I could never fathom the idea of just letting it go, without a proper and earned ending. That might seem obsessive to people who aren't writers, but you know, it's just what we do. The fact of it is, that's the only way stories get told. People who aren't writers might like to idealize storytelling, like they might just fart out a story and call it finished, but it just doesn't work that way. Telling a story, to completion, is hard work. Too obsessive then, I would say is anything that puts an ill effect on the rest of your life. When it gets to the point that your career or family or friends are suffering for it, then it's not so much a hobby anymore, and becomes an obsession/addiction. I've had to remind myself of this before. It's very easy to indulge in things that are fun and bring us pleasure, as storytelling does for us writers. But a happy life is a balanced life.
|
|
|
Post by blackcat on Jan 13, 2010 15:48:06 GMT -5
I've always been known for being 'obsessive' about my hobbies or interests, whatever they might be at any given time. I think part of it is that whatever I do, I have to do it well or at least 'properly' - I hate the thought of being mediocre at anything. I remember the friend who convinced me to get my first SLR camera... my little point-and-shoot had died, and he explained how he used a SLR because what you saw through the viewfinder is what the lens sees, with no offset. But for him, that was the only advantage of a SLR - he set it to automatic and for all practical purposes, used it as a point-and-shoot. So I got this secondhand SLR, and I wanted - needed - to know what all these other settings and numbers printed on it were for... so I started getting all these photography books from the library, and suddenly I'm telling him all this stuff about settings and focal lengths and depth of field, and he's like, 'Woah, what have I done?!" But that's how I am with any new interest - I try to throw myself into it 200%, and if I can't, I don't do it. Sometimes I have to remind myself that you can't be perfect at everything, especially something you're new at, and you have to just do it - like starting my blog, for example Someone once said that its like an Asperger's-type personality, being obsessively interested in a small range of things, but I don't think I have an Asperger's-type personality... that type of person thinks in black and white, and I love the grey areas I think I just have a small range of interests because I don't have the time or energy to be try to be perfect at many more I like meeting other people (online on in person) who are passionate about something because I know how fulfilling that can be. Laura, I'm glad you said that a balanced life is a happy life - I get annoyed by this 'poor me, I'm a slave to my art' attitude. There's this Sondheim musical, 'Sunday in the Park with George', about French artist Georges Seurat. There's a moment in the play when the artist character chooses to continue with his painting, rather than go out with his mistress, and its the defining moment in the relationship because, after being let down once too often for the same reason, she leaves him - and he knows this will happen at the time, but he still chooses the painting. Then he sulks and can't even have a simple conversation with her because she left him. The character has a song where he talks about how she left him 'as I always knew she would', like his past lovers have, because of his obsession with his art, - 'they have never understood'. I think the song is supposed to make you sympathise with him, but I just get mad at him... lol... I'm sitting there going 'get over yourself man!" - you just said you knew she would leave, but you did nothing to prevent it. You made your own choice. you take no responsibility for the failure of this or any other relationship except that you can't help the way you are... and you're surprised she left you?! So, yeah, I agree - too obsessive is where something is having a negative effect on the rest of your life, and when you can't even see that happen. Sorry - long post - this topic just gets me going
|
|
|
Post by mdpthatsme on Jan 13, 2010 16:39:39 GMT -5
;D This thread actually makes me laugh. Obsessive...hahaha...they have no idea.
|
|
|
Post by girlyesterday on Jan 13, 2010 16:45:03 GMT -5
I've never really been obsessed with any of my hobbies, I find them interesting, I enjoy them a lot but I can't say I am obsessed with them simply because I just haven't found what it is that I enjoy to that extent.
Strangers (other people) have certain ideals based on their own experiences, personality and life situation, so, they harbour a certain "ideal" of how things and other people should be. When they meet someone that is different or does things differently, they tend to dismiss them or call them crazy, obsessed, psycho etc. or make unjust sweeping judgements based on their own opinion and this I think is rooted in their lack of understanding; they don't or won't in some cases try to understand these people or where they are coming from. It's simply 'too hard', 'too much effort' etc. I've dealt with these types of people a lot over the years, both online and offline. They have their own little world and anything that doesn't 'fit' into it is either cut away, tossed out or mocked.
I don't have a lot of faith in people though.
Maybe they care so much because of conformity, they want you to conform to their ideas and if you don't, well, you must be crazy.
Trying to define if someone is obsessive or not is subjective.
For example, my penchant for creating blogs and changing my mind about them could be construed as obsessive and "crazy" to some people but to others, they just think, "That's just the way she is."
Whereas, I might meet someone who cleans their house constantly and I might think that's obsessive but someone else could think, "She really likes to keep things neat and tidy around here."
So it really depends on the person.
At the end of the day, if you're happy doing what you're doing and you're not physically harming anyone else, then I don't see the problem with doing things however you do them. The problem in a lot of these cases isn't with you, the artist, but with them, the people making the mockery/judgement call.
Writers in particular, have to believe in and have passion for their project otherwise it doesn't work. They are constantly thinking about it. Imagine if you will, having to spend two, three years writing a single novel. It would take up at least half of your life and you'd have to really really like it to spend all that time with it.
|
|
|
Post by sb on Jan 14, 2010 15:54:51 GMT -5
Obsessive. You mean like people who work 14 hour days and come home and check their blackberries until they can't see straight? That kind of obsessive?
That kind of obsessive is considered wonderful. Why? Because somebody is paying them to behave like that. Even if they HATE it, hey that’s ok.
But if you’re not paid and you love it, something is wrong with you?
I have no idea why total strangers care about anything someone else is doing. Maybe they’re bored. Maybe they’re jealous. Maybe they’re bored AND jealous. Or maybe they think you should be spending your time on a vocation of their choice. I cannot imagine spending a single minute wondering how much time someone else is spending doing anything. I’m too obsessed myself.
|
|
|
Post by Stacy on Jan 14, 2010 16:49:25 GMT -5
I found this discussion on Bransford's blog. Can't remember if I commented on this one or not, lol. Of course, 90% of the commenters suck up to Bransford and agree with everything he says and seem to completely negate their selves in favor of his opinions, so you have to take that into account. The people who actually have to live with me aren't alienated at all. Our lifestyle and habits haven't changed a bit since I started writing Valley - before Valley I spent the exact same amount of time on the computer. Just I was browsing sites or playing WoW or other games and spending hours writing posts on forums instead. So if there is a problem it's a problem with how my husband and I have conducted our lives for the last seven years and has nothing to do with writing. I don't think there is a problem. I think it goes back to the whole extroversion/introversion thing and how most people are extroverts and they tend to assume that introverts aren't mentally healthy. Notice what shows up again and again in the comments. Neglecting relationships. What if you are quite happy and satisfied with just a few relationships and those few people are cool with your writing and don't feel neglected or alienated? There's also the bit about money - I do have a day job and writing isn't negatively affecting it and we can pay our bills and buy food and take the cats to the vet. I just completely fail to see how something that has been only good and positive for me can be wrong and something that I need to "get help" for. I'm not denying that it could be a negative obsession for some people in certain circumstances. I just think that it's not a good idea to go around assuming you know what's best for strangers on the internet.
|
|
|
Post by dbloveshermac on Jan 14, 2010 21:09:28 GMT -5
I don't think there is a problem. I think it goes back to the whole extroversion/introversion thing and how most people are extroverts and they tend to assume that introverts aren't mentally healthy. I heard an interview on the radio just the other day talking about how extroversion is more valued than introversion in modern Western society. The guy's name was Adam McHugh, and he was partly talking about a book he's just written about introverts sometimes being marginalized in churches, but in the interview he talked about how most of the words that get resumes noticed and impress dates describe extroversion. His point was that just because introverts are misunderstood, they can't let society discount them. Introversion has unique qualities that are very much needed in this world. Otherwise, there would only be Joan Rivers, E TV, and cheerleaders. Without introverts, there would be no Faulkner, no vanGogh, and no Poe.
|
|
|
Post by mdpthatsme on Jan 16, 2010 23:04:01 GMT -5
NO POE!!! I could not live.
|
|
|
Post by Luminessence on Mar 17, 2010 8:57:58 GMT -5
I've always been an obsessive person. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. In fact, I sometimes wonder how other people manage without obsessions I'm very introverted, so my mental health is more likely to be adversely affected by spending all my time around people than by spending all my time writing. So if people have a problem with my being obsessive, that's their problem - they don't know what they're missing
|
|
|
Post by mdpthatsme on Mar 17, 2010 16:33:21 GMT -5
Amen sista
|
|
|
Post by simsnewbie23 on Mar 19, 2010 8:00:55 GMT -5
Obsession can be very scary, but it can also be very fun. It's also a cologne. =p
I think that it only becomes a problem if it affects your day to day life or hurts someone. Otherwise, I say, who care's what they think? It only matters what you think, and those who's opinion you value. Once you turn off your computer, the opinions on a forum disappear.
|
|
|
Post by mdpthatsme on Mar 21, 2010 18:20:08 GMT -5
Ummm...has everyone read my prompt for obsessed?!?!? If so, do you think it suits the thread well?
|
|