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Post by Stacy on Sept 16, 2010 23:40:51 GMT -5
I stayed up until 5am this morning reading 10 and In the Valley of the Sun. Don't ever say they suck. I'm not the sort of person who misses sleep for sucky literature. Actually I think sometimes we need to rethink how we deal with responses to our writing. Because we can't please everyone, we should expect that there are going to be haters. But what would be worse, would be if we got no response at all. Haters and Lovers of our writing means it's had impact, it's made people think for more than a second. And they've had a response that breaks through that barrier of reticence to comment. (Of course, at this point I am completely ignoring trolls who deserve to be ridiculed). That's a powerful impact. Think of all the books, movies, magazine articles, web comics, online blogs that we have never posted on. When we do post it's because it's hit us somewhere - in the heart, head or gut. And that's always a good thing. Well - don't ever say you suck, because I was about to go to sleep but now I'm going to miss sleep to reply to this. First - omg, you referred to it as literature!!! *hugs* I grew up reading Dickens, Austen, the Brontes, Poe, Hugo - so yeah, literature is what I aim for. *does a happy dance* And yeah - not being able to please everyone is definitely one of the biggest things that makes being an idealist hard. Which I think I am learning about the different tastes thing and how to deal with that and accept it. Slowly, with a lot of thinking and writing and turning it around and around in my head, but I'm making progress. The thing about haters - I've been seeing that crop up a lot lately. I found this article from a Sims dude on LJ - simsinthecity. Dealing with Online HatersSo with that and some other things I've seen around and music I've listened to lately - I've pretty much gotten over the haters thing. Oh, not to the point of not being able to find some good rage to fuel the writing fire. Want to keep that. But I've got enough balance now to draw out the rage and the fire when I need it and not go all crazy and neurotic and let it get to me when I don't. Oh, I post a lot on all sorts of things - a LOT of stuff hits me all over the place. Generally I'm only reticent to comment on some Sims stories I read because I feel like my comments don't measure up to the other comments. Other than that - I've got something to say on pretty much everything, lol. Which is another reason for haters - some people don't like that. And that's another thing I'm learning about - the differences between my motivations for what I do and how other people view what I do and what they think of it. Like I talk a lot and comment a lot because I'm interested in a lot of things and I'm passionate and I love talking and sharing ideas and well - I'm intense. I'm hardcore. Other people, with different personalities and different life experiences, may see that as pushy or attention whore-y or bossy or superior or whatever. And then they let that color their view of my work, and they make hate secrets and other people get their opinion of me from those without getting to know me and reject my work based on that. And as hard as it is for me to accept, all of that is totally out of my control and has nothing to do with the quality of my writing. I could write a masterpiece that would knock Shakespeare out of the park, and some people still wouldn't read it because of stupid stuff like that. Or because of stuff that's not stupid, but still out of my control - like they're just not into psychological horror, or whatever you want to call what comes out of my subconscious. I figure it's like Dr. Seuss said - "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Anyway - yay! Thank you so much for reading my work. I am so happy that you enjoyed it and found it worthwhile. Like I said - yay a new friend! *hugs* Will send you a PM later - must go sleepy times now if I am to feel capable of starting 10.08 tomorrow night - which yeah, I've let go of deadlines but still plan on updating somewhat regularly - at least once every two weeks may be a decent goal to shoot for at the moment. And I do know what I want to do with at least the beginning, but I want to read more Beowulf (I picked the region of origin of the bear-riding wizards on purpose, you know) and let things percolate a bit longer. Good night! Oh wait! One more thing to add - lately, lately when I say it sucks I'm not talking so much about how other people see it or basing that on a lack of readers or comments. Perhaps I should rephrase it and say instead "I didn't quite meet the ideal I had envisioned here, but I will just try again and keep learning and fail better next time."
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Post by rad on Sept 19, 2010 12:23:05 GMT -5
Can't comment on your LJ but a few twisted love songs for you...
Catatonia - Strange Glue Mansun - She Makes my Nose Bleed Space and Cerys Matthews - The Ballad of Tom Jones Skunk Anansie - She's my Heroine, Brazen Any of Nick Cave's murder ballads Alanis Morissette - Bent 4U, Uninvited Garbage - #1 Crush, Hammering in my Head, Temptation Waits Pink - Just Like a Pill
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Post by Stacy on Sept 19, 2010 13:45:44 GMT -5
Can't comment on your LJ but a few twisted love songs for you... Catatonia - Strange Glue Mansun - She Makes my Nose Bleed Space and Cerys Matthews - The Ballad of Tom Jones Skunk Anansie - She's my Heroine, Brazen Any of Nick Cave's murder ballads Alanis Morissette - Bent 4U, Uninvited Garbage - #1 Crush, Hammering in my Head, Temptation Waits Pink - Just Like a Pill Thank you! #1 Crush has been a Sarah song since I started brainstorming Diary, and Red Right Hand (Nick Cave, but not a love ballad really) has been a Seth song forever. Am definitely checking out all of the others. You rock!
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Post by Stacy on Sept 21, 2010 23:27:48 GMT -5
Been doing a lot of thinking and reading this week - honestly I haven't even started 10.08. Got a lot to process and work has been really stressful lately - which my worst day at my current job is a thousand times better than my best day in fast food. But still - I have a very low occupational stress threshold. So anyway - I've joined the Google groups the web fiction people are doing - someone lit a fire under them and now they're all gung-ho about creating a guild and having awards and getting web fiction mentioned in the New York Times within a year and getting legitimacy and all this stuff. I haven't talked much, though. Weird, right? But I don't know - I really have nothing to say. I am learning a hell of a lot, though. I am learning that there's no way in hell they're going to pay attention to literary psychological horror, because they're all exclusively into science fiction/fantasy. I am learning that many of them want social acceptance, want "legitimacy" in the eyes of corporate capitalist culture, want to make money. I have not yet learned why they don't just go for traditional publishing if that's what they want. I am learning that I don't give a shit about any of that. I am learning that the majority of humans are terribly prejudiced conformist creatures whose views of the world are very limited. They will not change to suit me. I can shout and scream and stamp my little foot all I want. They will still say that money is the only measure of worth. They will still say that they will only read work that has been pre-approved by a corporation. They will still judge art by their opinion of the creator, by ideas about social status, by genre, by anything other than the art itself. This I cannot change. I cannot control it. No matter how well I write, no matter if I one day manage my goal of writing the fiction equivalent to a Beethoven symphony, people will still reject it for reasons that have nothing to do with its beauty and worth and the skill with which I wrought it. I must accept the abyss for what it is. Like Seth at the end of Valley - which I've been reading about existential depression lately and Seth...Seth has like a world-destroying case of existential depression. And there is a reason why Seth is my avatar. And at the end of Valley, he faces the fire. He faces the darkness, the emptiness, the meaninglessness, the eternal solitude of being locked into an imperfect limited body. He accepts impermanence. He accepts death. Through Lilith turning his own weapon against him, he makes peace with the reality of existence and takes his proper place in the ocean of being. Err - see why I shared that bit on LJ about sometimes screaming "They don't understand my art!" in response to comments on occasion? LOL. Which in my saner moments, I am actually very grateful for those comments and am extremely happy that people found something to enjoy in my art even if it wasn't what I saw and what I enjoyed - means I'm doing it right, that I am creating a work that can entertain on several levels. I have always swung between the poles of outcast and penitent. Sometimes I'm a rebel and proud of it, other times I'm on the outside and want in and try to figure out what I did wrong, what I could do to be part of the group. I think - I think in the last few weeks I have been resolving that conflict. Largely because with you guys - I can have my rebel cake and my social inclusion ice cream! Whoa, it's time for bed and I'm sleepy so I'll hurry this up. My point is - I have realized that the stats page doesn't matter. Really and truly. Seth connected with Lilith. That's what saved him, in the end. She saw him and loved him for what he was - oh, I had a lot of words explaining that in the original draft of Firewater but cut them out. She saw him, his essence, the seed that he was and the twisted gnarled tree he became - she saw the glowing streak across space and time that was Seth, and she loved and accepted him. And so he met the flames bravely and went into the darkness redeemed. You guys have accepted me. Finally, finally, I have found a place where I fit in. I've made connections. I've felt understood. And omg I just had an epiphany - may be sending you another PM soon, Rad. Continuing on... You guys have given me the strength to face the flames, to look into the abyss and say "Screw it. My art is good and beautiful and true, and if you can't see that it's your problem, not mine." I will keep writing and publishing and pushing myself to get better, even if in the end you guys are the only people who ever read it. Not giving up on still trying to get as many readers as I can though, lol. I'm just saying that I accept impermanence and weakness and solitude and low stats page days. I accept that there are things that I cannot control. I see and love and accept all the glowing streaks across space and time. I love you all, and I am so incredibly grateful for you and your friendship and your acceptance. You have no idea what it means when you tell me that it's okay to be obsessed with my work, it's okay to advertise a lot, it's okay to have good self-esteem days sometimes where I recognize my abilities. It's okay to be me, with all my gnarled twisted branches and my beautiful leaves shining golden in the late afternoon sun. I hope that I can return the favor - I hope I've created a space where it's okay for you to be you. I am very tired and I am going to bed now. I will spend the weekend working on 10.08, promise. May you all shine brightly in the midnight sky.
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Post by celebkiriedhel on Sept 22, 2010 3:39:48 GMT -5
"Largely because with you guys - I can have my rebel cake and my social inclusion ice cream!"
And Seth makes it a flambe! <giggle>
You're getting extra readers, and you'll keep on getting readers because your writing is good! I'm glad that you were able to see the difference between you (and us) and the web fiction folks.
When I first started writing and going to writing classes and all - web fiction was seen as a stepping stone to published fiction. It doesn't surprise me that the google group is still focussed on that.
I'm glad that the people here I focussed on their writing rather than the status it can give. I've read more worthwhile stuff from this group than I have in ages.
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Post by Stacy on Sept 23, 2010 18:22:32 GMT -5
I imagine embedding is disabled on this because it's sort of an official video, so linking instead. Gravedigger - Dave Matthews Very worth checking out if you haven't seen/heard it yet - very very good song and video. I'm taking a break for a bit - will still do the raid officer/chat times thing tomorrow night (brownies are baking for tonight's anniversary activity - hmm, what movie to watch?), but other than that - got some things to think about. Want to be alone. And no worries - hiding the blog isn't the only impulse I've put brakes on. Although once - was it when I was writing Dark? I don't know, it was one of the Seth-heavy later chapters and I was having trouble and talking to Hoopty - the sentence "Why don't I just kill myself?" suddenly showed up in my head and I realized it was Seth saying it, and that it was true and right for him. I think I told you about that, Rad - or at least you listened to Restin' Bones when Hoopty suggested it as a Seth song. Because of the line "restin' my bones from the loneliness of being the only genius around". And you said that the ending didn't sound like Seth, but really it is very Seth. That's why he's so afraid of death. Because he wants it so very much. OMG! Grace wandered in and asked how to spell prerogative and what it meant, and that reminded me of this song from back in elementary school. And it was my jam back then, like Killing in the Name is now. LOL! My Prerogative - Bobby Brown I was the exact same person in elementary school. I went back to an old non-Sims stomping ground a few weeks ago. Found a thread in which people seemed to be advocating forced gender roles. Permanently cut my ties there in a blaze of glory. It may have included this paragraph.
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Post by Stacy on Sept 24, 2010 6:42:52 GMT -5
God, I don't even know what impulses have brakes and what doesn't anymore. Well - my momma told me to always say what you want, because the worst people can do is tell you no. She also said in some situations to just tell them what you're going to do and not give them a chance to say no. Anyone willing to talk to me and deal with angst and bad mood-ness and reassure me? LOL. I don't know - I guess I just want someone to say "I hear your howl in the dark, and no, you shouldn't delete the blog and go back to old self-destructive habits and you have value and I see you and understand you and it's okay to feel all upset and whiny every now and then and you'll make it through and be okay again, probably when you have time to write, and you're not terribly incredibly alone. I'm here."
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Post by rad on Sept 24, 2010 7:21:44 GMT -5
This. For me and I suspect for most of us. Sorry I've not been around much lately. Work and life are hectic right now, though should settle down in October.
Your work is great. You know that. We all love you and you know that too. Grace and John love you. Keep strong, don't hide too much.
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Post by celebkiriedhel on Sept 24, 2010 7:32:52 GMT -5
You know - whiny is good. It means that you're not letting it fester. And no matter how alone you feel, it's not how you really are. What Rad said. <nods vigorously> I haven't known you for too long - maybe a week but there are two things that I know about you. 1. You are a great writer with something important to say, and the heart and gut to say it. 2. You are someone valuable that I am very glad I have gotten to know, and I don't want you to run away when I've only just met you.
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Post by Stacy on Sept 24, 2010 10:55:08 GMT -5
This. For me and I suspect for most of us. Sorry I've not been around much lately. Work and life are hectic right now, though should settle down in October. Your work is great. You know that. We all love you and you know that too. Grace and John love you. Keep strong, don't hide too much. I love you! And oh - don't feel upset about not being around! *hugs* I totally understand that things are busy - things are busy here too, thus the not having time to write 10.08 this week and not being able to schedule chats until tonight. This wasn't prompted by lack of physical presence at all. I'm not sure that it was prompted by anything external, actually - it may be just all my own internal issues. Well, maybe a bit external stuff - but definitely not anything on this forum or involving any of my VSS circle friends. More just traipsing around the more mainstream bits of the internet. Which I totally accept my current emotional state and I'm actually sort of happy at the same time, you know? From destruction comes creation. From rage and isolation and despair comes writing that is ever closer to my ideal. So yeah - I'll be okay. And yay happy friends time! *hugs*
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Post by Stacy on Sept 24, 2010 10:58:37 GMT -5
You know - whiny is good. It means that you're not letting it fester. And no matter how alone you feel, it's not how you really are. What Rad said. <nods vigorously> I haven't known you for too long - maybe a week but there are two things that I know about you. 1. You are a great writer with something important to say, and the heart and gut to say it. 2. You are someone valuable that I am very glad I have gotten to know, and I don't want you to run away when I've only just met you. I really really really have to go now and can't properly respond, but I didn't want to leave you hanging after replying to Rad. *HUGS* And yay happy smiley!!! I will respond properly this afternoon after work.
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Post by dbloveshermac on Sept 24, 2010 11:42:29 GMT -5
Stacy, only you can be you. Great and creative and expressive you! That's why your presence at VSS and in your blog and in the world is so important. If you're feeling angst because of the stress of being unusual (different, insert synonym of choice here), then wear that as a badge and let out a YAWP! I'll be right there with you.
Hugs!
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tesseracta
Full Member
5th Dimensional Spaz
Posts: 122
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Post by tesseracta on Sept 24, 2010 12:41:15 GMT -5
*hugs*
I wish I noticed right away when you posted this. Don't you dare delete your blog! : ) You're definitely not alone.
I agree whole-heartedly with Rad, Kiri and DBLoveshermac. It is definitely okay to feel upset and whiny from time to time, and it is so bad to keep it bottled in and not forgive yourself. These rough times suck, but they can't go on forever, and hopefully what you are stuggling with will make you stronger.
You are a fabulous, talented, and passionate person. You're also an incredible writer!
I hope you feel better soon : )
Tess
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Post by Stacy on Sept 25, 2010 0:39:14 GMT -5
Okay, replying now. Soundtrack for replies - Magic - B.O.B. ft Rivers Cuomo Yeah, I've linked it already once before but hey. It's been my repeat one jam when I'm in a good mood lately. My favorite bit: Oh, and image for replies! Someone looked at the Valley Wallpapers post for the first time in ages the other day and clicked on the smaller version of this and it reminded me of its existence, and I've had a tab open with it ever since. Oh, you know who this is a pic ofKiri - OMG, I know! Seriously, the stuff my friends here write is better than most of the stuff I see in bookstores. Err - I will shut up about that now because I got in a lot of trouble once for talking about writing for social status vs writing for the love of it - and someone whose opinions I care about got upset about it, so yeah. Anyway - yay! *hugs* Also, *blush*. Thank you so much - I'm very glad that you've come here to hang out with us and that I'm getting to know you, because you are a wonderful awesome valuable person yourself. DB - You know that I love you lots, right? Because I do. YAWP!!! I did want to suggest Dead Poets Society for the movie yesterday, lol. But we went with the first Toy Story instead. *affixes badge of DB Says I'm Cool So YAY on shirt* Tesseracta - I'm not going to delete it - made it past that impulse and to the other side safely. Thank you so much! And yeah - everything makes you stronger, I think. It's all growing - and growing can be scary and painful sometimes. Awww - *hugs* You rock, and I am so happy that you came here and that you're my friend. I'm happy that you all came here and that you're all my friends. I love all of you so very very much - like you don't even know. No, I'm not alone. None of us are. *big huge group hug*
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Post by Stacy on Sept 26, 2010 3:08:41 GMT -5
Bought The Tao of Writing by Ralph Wahlstrom tonight. I read the first chapter and I can totally get what he's saying, but I don't get what he says about how other people think about writing. I tried talking to John about this, and he said that the English language does not have words that can cross the perceptual divide. He also laughed a lot. Basically the idea was that how I've always approached writing, as an experience of unstructured flow, was like this new revolutionary thing. And that a lot of people hated writing because they saw it as this dead structured ruled thing and how the point was to write what your teacher wanted and get it done and over with. Which that blew my mind and I almost got all angry and sad and weird again. But I remembered what you guys said. And I tried to reach out, tried to talk to John. He said that it was true. And I asked why people listened to others, why they cared about what others wanted and "structure" and "rules". And yes, I did the finger quotation marks thing. He tried to say that I cared about rules because my sentences are understandable to other humans and you have to care about the rules of grammar and things to make yourself understood to people who don't live inside your brain. But I don't think that's what I meant, really. I think what I meant was...why do people...okay, like, yeah, I had to write five paragraph essays in school. So I wrote them, turned them in, and went on with my life. It didn't make me hate writing. It didn't make me think that I always had to follow rules or be structured or force words into a shape that they didn't want to go in. Okay, here's the paragraph that utterly blew my mind. How in the hell does one get to that mental state? I went to American public schools. I didn't pick up that idea at all. Ah, but it is true that I only did one semester of a four year college, and I didn't go to class very often that semester. And maybe this is more a college thing? OMG OMG OMG!!! Is this why people get all defensive about Sims stories? Because another conversation tonight - John said I was a people person who didn't understand people, and I said "Yeah - I still don't get why people got so upset about one LJ entry. Especially when I read the exact same theory and sentiment in a book about writing after posting it. Why was it allowed in the writing book but I'm not allowed to say it?" Oh - this would be the writing for social status vs writing for the love of it that I mentioned getting in trouble about. And I was reading the comments on Beth's latest Friday Thoughts post, and I saw a thread of "This is for fun, this isn't supposed to be taken seriously." By people who are probably reading this and who are my friends - and you guys, you write great stories and you obviously take your work seriously, because you try to do your best and you put forth effort and you don't just slap up some haphazard pictures and some random captions. Which I just deleted like three paragraphs of a tangent about the phrase "taking yourself too seriously", lol. Maybe what this dude says is true and other people really do have this funky idea of writing that they got from school? And they get all defensive about Sims stories because of that? Like they care about "rules" and "structure" and "authority" and so maybe they don't want Sims stories identified with what they see as writing that is done for someone else's approval and has all these rules and judgements and stuff attached to it in their minds? And maybe that's a line that I crossed in that LJ post? Because me - I don't see a difference between Sims stories and any other kind of writing - well, any other kind of creative writing. Obviously technical writing and advertisement writing would be different. But for fiction and the majority of non-fiction - it's all communication. It's all art. It's all expression of one's self. For me personally, in my own internal reality, it can all be held to the same internal standard. INternal, not EXternal. I never have cared about external standards. So I really did not mean to go poking around in old wounds, but here we are. At the divide that cannot be crossed by the English language, because I just don't have the concepts to understand and the words that other people use mean something very different in my head than they mean in the speaker's head and vice versa. I guess, it's just - it's 4 a.m. and I need to go to bed, is what it is. Panthers game tomorrow afternoon and all - which apparently it's supposed to be raining. Joy. But I think the main point that I had somewhere in all of that was - I don't know. That John was right and that I'm a people person who doesn't get people and that causes a lot of stress, because I want to talk and have friends and stuff but then I violate all these rules and norms that I didn't even know existed and will never understand, no matter how hard I try. And so I make people upset and I want to make it better but I am so clueless that my flailing attempts to make it better just make it worse. And also that reading stuff about how everyone else feels a certain way about writing but then I can't identify with it or understand it at all - sometimes I wonder if I'm even human. I mean... No, I'm human. It's just that somehow, between my mother and my neurochemicals and my hometown, mainstream American culture never touched me during my formative years. And so now I live in a constant state of culture shock. And now I'm going to sleep.
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Post by celebkiriedhel on Sept 26, 2010 5:26:32 GMT -5
I don't know people well enough here yet to know what will and won't upset them. So there are things I won't say yet.
But I get what you're saying.
I think all artists live in a constant state of culture shock.
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Post by thelunarfox on Sept 26, 2010 15:33:28 GMT -5
Actually, the thread you saw in Beth's post wasn't "this isn't supposed to be taken seriously" but "this is for fun." Two completely separate things. I wouldn't walk into someone else's blog and start correcting them and telling them what they're doing wrong and how to improve because they're sharing a part of themselves with us as the reader and they're doing it because they honestly like to. That was the thread I saw.
But uh, I'm very confused about what sim stories and reading have to do with school and disliking writing.
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Post by Stacy on Sept 26, 2010 21:52:28 GMT -5
Will read and reply to replies later - don't feel capable right now and can feel 10.08 coming, so I will need my time and my energy for me this week. So, for now...here is a summary of yesterday's dinner conversation - which is story related because hey, the horse thing ended up actually contributing to 10. So who knows? So John was eating chicken and Carino's always has excellent chicken and he asked what dimension they got their chicken from. Thus was born the three way war between the Carino's operatives, the chicken dimension, and the ice cream dimension (they also have extremely good ice cream). The chicken people shop at Cluck Mart, where they buy caramel bullets for their Cluck Cluck 47s. And normal bullets for the human operatives. The caramel bullets are for the superintelligent ice cream beings - caramel renders them inert. The chicken people are led by Colonel Sanders, who is very much a small Southern town sheriff type. A lookout stationed near the dimensional rift saw the Carino's operatives coming and ran to tell the other chicken people but he tripped a trap that had been left by a previous group of operatives. He was mortally wounded but kept running and got back to the base and gasped his message out with his last breath. His best friend Bob McCluckerson clucked "NOOOOO!" and ran towards the rift, emptying the clip of his Cluck Cluck 47. But he was too emotional to be cautious and aim and stuff, so the Carino's operatives easily took him out. And John was eating him. John took a bite and said "Dude took care of himself." I replied "Well, yeah, you have to keep fit in the chicken army." The operatives who are sent to the ice cream dimension are rather jealous of the ones who wage war against the chicken people. For the ice cream dimension is a cold dark foreboding place. It's always night time and it's always freezing and the ground is always covered with a light snow. It's very very quiet. And in the palatial ice cream homes, with their crenellations and turrets and general look of a dark dank princess playset, their waffle cone slaves cook the Carino's operatives that have been captured. For of course the ice cream people cannot go near fire, but they do so like warm food. It's very Dickensian in their kitchens, really. When no humans have been captured and they are hungry, they make the waffle cone slaves cry. Because the waffle cone people cry tears of pure sugar, so their tears are indeed delicious. Naturally, the waffle cone people help the operatives against the ice cream people when they can. And one operative adopted a waffle cone orphan. When the other kids at school found out he cried tears of pure sugar - well, you can imagine the torment he went through. He would scream at night, dreaming of teeth and tongues tearing at him. One morning the operative came downstairs and found that his dog quite liked the taste of sugar tears. And on his next trip to the ice cream dimension, he adopted another waffle cone orphan. Because hey, as John said - "Free dog food". The ice cream people use Icee guns to shoot bullets made of pure cold. They instantly freeze their enemies to death. Their leader is General Gelato, a cold amoral psychopath. The ice cream people and chicken people are at war against each other as well as against the Carino's operatives, but they do a little black market business with each other - like the chicken people will sell the corpses of Carino's operatives to the ice cream people. That is how Romeo Parmesan and Juliet Neapolitan met. They got along quite well, really. Until Romeo got hungry and thought Neapolitan ice cream might be yummy. Rather like the story I wrote back in high school about the fungi people and the isopropyl alcohol people. At this point John said "You know, for all the war and killing going on, the prices here are quite reasonable." That's about it - I remember something about...like how maybe that operative found the waffle cone orphan inside a hut in the ice cream dimension - caramel all over the walls, dried sugar tears everywhere, and an abandoned emptied Cluck Cluck 47.
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Post by Stacy on Sept 28, 2010 10:00:13 GMT -5
So I've been reading more of The Tao of Writing. It's like an introduction to some very basic ideas about writing for five year olds. I can still dig it, though. It's not as bad as that one book John had me read - something like Improbable Probability? I don't know. But OMG, it was written for three year olds. It made my brain hurt. It was all "Here is a very extremely simple basic example." Okay. I can deal. But then! Then it would go into a very obvious simple little story meant to demonstrate the example, and then it'd be like "Ah-ha, gotcha! Bet you didn't know that was illustrating the statement you read two pages ago! Let me restate it for you again, in words that make it obvious that I think you are a toddler." And then, on top of every sentence insulting me, what it was saying about how human brains work DID NOT MAKE ANY FREAKING SENSE!!!! I couldn't understand or identify with the way it was saying people made decisions at all. Anyway...see, at least with The Tao of Writing the basic ideas make sense, even if they are very basic and the author writes like he's talking to preschoolers. It's just the assumptions he makes about the way the preschoolers he's writing for think that is blowing my mind. So instead of working on 10.08 last night I was wandering around the internet and found this utterly fascinating community, and OMG. Unequal InequalityThis comment made me shout obscenities about humans and growl. Also, Oreo was sitting in my lap and I gave her a hug and told her to never trust any humans except me and John. The other blog I found was Less Wrong, and it had a lot of posts about status and signalling said status that made me look at myself and think. This is one community I know better than to post in, but I think I'll continue lurking. They're rational and I'm emotional, they're logical and I'm empathic, they're into math and hard science and I'm into language and the softer sciences, but I think they notice and care about a lot of the same things in human behavior that I do while being more normally socialized than I was and so having more understanding and familiarity with said behavior and so I can learn from them. Heh - I did think this morning that they were INTJs like Seth, and then I found out that a major motivation for them is using technology to prevent death. Wonder what they would think of Seth? Don't think they would like my work, since in the end Seth accepts death. And on the way to that end, he causes a lot of death himself. So yeah. Off to work. And hopefully, hopefully, starting 10.08 tonight. Will spend work clearing my mind of non-Seth stuff.
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Post by celebkiriedhel on Sept 28, 2010 19:25:27 GMT -5
Ooo yes please! More Seth
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