Making oneself cry

[dinuriel]

A story I follow was recently updated, and the writer remarked on her blog that the update nearly made her cry.

That really struck me, seeing as I have been writing for longer than the mediocre quality of my work might imply and I have never made myself cry (no, any Naroni readers out there, not even when I killed [redacted]). I am a complete robot when it comes to fiction. I never cry during movies, books, anything (which is weird because I'm a total crybaby in real life situations). Nothing fictional comes close, even if it involves characters of my own invention--I'm sad, sure, but I just don't cry for some reason.

But now that I think about it, that kind of worries me. Should I be crying over my characters? Is the reason I'm not crying over them a lack of attachment, perhaps? Would my writing improve if I could cry for my characters? Or would it just become unbearable for me to make them suffer?

And as a reader/viewer, am I missing something? Does crying enrich the experience provided by the medium? Take that one movie for example--The Notebook or whatever the hell it was called. I'm the only person I know who didn't tear up during that movie. I'm also the only person I know who hated that movie (well, only girl, anyway). Haaaaated it. I also still haven't seen Titanic even though it's been out for like a decade, and have no real desire to do so because I'm pretty sure it'll be the exact same thing. But would I enjoy movies and books like that if I could actually get invested enough to cry, or am I already as invested as I can get and just don't like them for some reason?

So... my point. I don't know what my point is, exactly. Can you have emotional investment without physical manifestations of the same? Even if you don't cry when your characters drop like flies, can you still care enough about them to do them justice? What do you think?

Sorry for the random ramble, by the way :S

[laura]

Hmmm, well I can only speak from experience, personally, my characters and stories make me bawl like a baby! All the time!!! But I do cry over movies, books, Sim-stories, sad songs... the ending of Final Fantasy X, you know, whatever I didn't particularly like The Notebook, thought it was formulaic and plotty, but yes, I still cried, lol!

Laura = crybaby. But it's probably just that some people cry and some people don't.

Would it become unbearable to watch them suffer? No, I can testify to the fact that I still torture them, even though it makes me cry. Man, what does that say about me? :\

But I'm sure, even if you're not the type to cry, maybe your readers would cry for them when the situation calls for it?

I do look forward to seeing what other people say about this topic.

[raquelaroden]

I don't cry over books or movies all that often...when I do, I'm usually alone and I'm dwelling on the sad part of it. I've never cried over a Sim story....yet. I haven't cried over my story...yet.

The last movie I cried over was The Young Victoria--and it was only in the very last part, where the text came up on the screen to summarize what happened later in their marriage. It was just so touching....

I remember crying like a baby over the end of Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy. I mean, worst crying I think I've ever done over a book. But I've enjoyed tons of books and movies that I didn't cry over. My mother-in-law believes that if she didn't cry over a movie, she didn't really enjoy it. I don't really take that view. I'm not sure it adds anything to my enjoyment of something...in fact, I'm probably less likely to reread or rewatch anything that evokes that emotional response in me, because it's so draining.

[mdpthatsme]

Hmm, I don't cry over books...just never had. Now I will admit I cried while watching the Notebook...oh my cheezits, but I'm not really that big into crying over other movies...

I do, however, cry over my characters. I'm very attached to them. I know all their ends and as horrible as some of them are...EEK! I'm just terrible to my characters.

The only song I can think of that I get emotional with is "Slipped Away" by Avril.

dinuriel: I don't think its anything of great concern that you aren't all teary eyed over things. That just saves you from having to clean yourself up afterwards. Some writers get all emotional, some writers do not and most of the time they are just as great as the other one.

[pinkfiend1]

The notebook was so sad, as was Romeo and Juliet or Tristan and Isolde (seriously gets me every time)
Harry Potter now the end of Half Blood Prince, and the whole big thing at the end of Deathly Hollows. Seriously cry worthy, granted the film of Half Blood Prince didn't get me as much as the book, but then the films seriously lack.
I am prone to tears, but I don't think I've ever cried over Sims either my own or others in stories.
But it's like md said some people cry and others don't, it doesn't mean that you aren't as attached to the characters or the writing isn't as good , or didn't enjoy it as much or anything, it just means that you didn't cry, it's not a big deal.

[Stacy]

So I had this long post with lots of discussion of various things and then I went to look up Edgar Allan Poe's poem Alone to link it because it's my favorite poem and I thought you could relate but the site it was on crashed IE and I lost my post.

Essentially I said the same thing as what pinkfiend said, only with a lot more words and a lot more rambling.

[dinuriel]

Wow, lots of replies!

It was interesting to see everyone's take on this. I'm in a bit of a rush, so I can't leave the most comprehensive of responses, so I'll just say it was great to read what everyone had to say and I'm glad the problem seems to be more in my head than anything else. Thanks, everyone

Also, Stacy, I googled the poem and it pretty much exactly summed up how I was feeling yesterday, since today is Thanksgiving in my country and all my friends and family are on the other side of a mountain range. I felt a little better after reading it. Thanks

[Seera]

Yea, I don't cry over movies that much. The only movie I recall crying at, if you call tearing up crying, was Bridge to Terrabithia. But probably because I hadn't read the book and the sad event surprised me and the actors in the movie were good enough to portray their sadness, etc

[tesseracta]

I am a total crybaby when it comes to movies, books, plays, comic books, videogames, long-distance phone commercials, and even during music concerts. (The worst was when I cried during Kill Bill 2, but whatever the mother-daughter scenes were very touching ). My family and friends make fun of me for it all the time.

I've teared up reading other people's Sims stories. (I miss Moondaisy).

I've never cried at anything I've ever written. I'm not a huge crybaby in my irl interactions. I guess I just like to lose myself in media.

[meowzbark]

I think the last movie that touched me was The Blind Side...and that was at the end when I realized it was a true story. There's very few movies that touch me to tears - and when they do I'm typically PMSing...so it's me, not the movie.

There's some of my writing that makes me all teary-eyed. Far more than what makes me happy. Guess that's the curse of my genre.

Now what really moves me are songs.

How Can I Not Love You - Joy Enriquez
Rest in Pieces - Saliva
The Last Song I'm Wasting on You - Evanescence
Daughter to Father - Lindsay Lohan


And the guaranteed tearbringer...

Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven

My brother used to play that on the piano when my parents fought. The louder they screamed, the louder he played. The last time I heard him play was probably 10 years ago, but it brings back such bittersweet memories.

[laura]

LOL, glad I'm not the only one who cries at commercials!

This one gets me every time: www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-8PBx7isoM

*totally crying all over again, lol!*

[laura]

Or this one: www.youtube.com/watch?v=40K5bmCMZQ0

And this one's not even sad, but it makes me cry: www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSnMeiOPtLQ LOL!

[heredoncove]

My writing never makes me cry, probably because I'm always analyzing it to make sure it make sense. Emotions be gone!

Now movies and certain books don't get my started. I cried at the end of Order of Phoenix but I hurt for Harry. The Notebook as cheesy as it was, I bawled like they depicted my life for me.

[bunnylita]

I don't think I've ever cried over anything I've written, but I've definitely cried over books, movies and TV shows before. I can never get enough distance from my own work to get too worked up over the content I guess.

[rad]

I feel the emotions of my stories, but crying with them... not yet. I have occasionally welled up at films and songs but not very often at anything else. That's not to say my emotions aren't engaged, but I tend to cry more when I'm tired or hormonal or when something is a shock so if none of those things apply I'm less likely to tear up.

[pinkfiend1]

If we're talking sad comercials the stop smoking ones can be sad and disturbing, Rad might know the ones I mean being British too, where there are the video clips of the children and there all breathing out smoke because of passive smoking. I can't find a good quality clip to show you, the youtube one is too patchy so you can't really see it.

[celebkiriedhel]

I cry at sad songs, sad movies, happy movies, all the sad commercials that Laura put up, sad books, a lot of Laura's sad moments in LH - I'm just a waterworks.

I've never cried at my stories - but I have felt the frustration, sadness, or despair that my characters feel. It's muted because it's mine I think.

I think it's quite reasonable not crying at the sad moments in your own stories. It needs you to get out of the writer frame and into the reader frame and that's dependant on personality type. If you do - great, if you don't - that's great too.

I don't think you should be forcing yourself to feel anything that you don't.

Also I sincerely doubt that you love your characters any less than someone who weeps copiously at theirs.

[thelunarfox]

I don't cry at much of anything really. I have to be in a mood to cry at a movie, and even then it's not like real crying, just maybe some tears.

But I have cried while writing. Not in a very long time, but I'm so rarely alone when I'm writing now. I don't think it means anything if you don't cry though.

[mdpthatsme]

Oct 12, 2010 16:01:06 GMT -5 @illandrya said:

I'm so glad I live alone because I tend to vocalise tough scenes to make sure they sound believable.

Sometimes vocalizing it is the best way, yes. I always have to read everything outloud after I'm finished with it that way I can find the little mistakes. I also when time comes for a character to speak, articulate it in "their" accent. My mom really thinks I'm strange when I do things like that. I'm very good at translating between one character to another with completely different accents and tone, pitch...all that stuff.

[drew]

Good topic Van, I don't think it means anything one way or the other if you don't 'tear up' at the fate of any of your characters. Everyone reacts to emotional input differently, so yes, you CAN have emotional investment without physical manifestations.

I have cried over certain movies, Boromir's death scene in LOTR gets me going all the time, as in tears streaming down my cheeks. Every time I see it. Multiple viewings. Yet, some other movies that people have said they boo-hoo over, I am amazingly dry eyed.

Lou Gehrig's farewell speech "I consider myself the luckiest man...' gets me every time too, the old 'lump in the throat' (He was a baseball player from the 1940's in case anyone wondered, I love baseball!) Yet my sister looks at me like I am nuts, she was dry-eyed.

It is different for every one. But then, I tie a lot of my emotional reactions to hormones and/or mood. The two do seem to be inexorably linked, to me, anyway!